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10 July, 2008

The time to go

What do you prepare when the time to go approaches? Do you cook a meal? Try to cut a deal, with devil? What do you do? Throw away your watch, throw away your TV? What else can you throw away? 

You remember those friends you accused with horrendous crimes mentioned in the law book of friendship. You remember how unfair you were, how mean and selfish and wrong. You cringe.

You remember life and all within. Do you feel relieved to let go or stressed in the failure of it? Do you remember everything or just the aching, maybe some happy moments, lingering.

You remember music. How good it was to you! It was the only thing that understood you, you understood it. It was always in harmony. Do you care for a last piece of music before you went? No, you wouldn't dare, because you know more you listen, more you want to stay. It is better you go. One cannot live on music.

But you need to reach out to be reached at. Reach out. Breach. Beach. each. itch. You need limbs to reach out, you need arms and legs and hair. You cannot reach out with just a heart, shattered in pieces.

The time to go is when you know there are no more corners to turn. When you see the vast emptiness in front of you. When you no longer feel the heat or the cold. When you no longer look outside your window, for whatever reason. Happy people don't look outside their window. 

You are not happy though. Are you?

Billy in the Kid



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