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13 November, 2009


Quoting some reviewer on amazon. Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse:

About one man's journey into the hell of his own being, paralleled only by the hell of a world he finds no home in; words from Hesse's DEMIAN come to mind: "My story is not a pleasant one....It is a story of nonsense and chaos, madness and dreams--like the lives of all men who stop deceiving themselves."


New words have been suggested to replace the constant state of mind I have been for the last 20 years. I used to use threshold. Now we have: limbo, brink, sill, alpha, fringe.  I am routing for brink... brink... I lived my whole life on the brink...
I lived my whole life on the brink of becoming what i want to become. Well, then I have become what i wanted to become. Then I obtained what I wanted to acquire. Yet I am still on a brink.
Oh, my restless soul
shall never lay
or see a day
by the shore.

Because I don't have the balls to take that one little step necessary to forward into the steppes.
I can be the steppenwolf one day. I can venture forth. Gather your party before venturing forth.

02 November, 2009


What can one say about the master ?What makes one a master?His sincerity in his craft? His ability to provoke strongest response from you?Below is a master, a master I am lucky have met early in life and enjoyed every minute that I was cherished to spend with him...sharing is caring...

25 October, 2009


My new interest on the interwebs is failblog
I have no words to describe it, just go there and see it for yourself.

The nice thing is, they have a tab on top with links to lolcats, and loldogs etc that are worth checking out if you are feeling under the weather and need some cheering up.

Spread the word... word of fun.... and sense of humor. Life is worth laughing about.

25 June, 2009

The Book of Grasp

I have travelled half the earth for almost a decade to understand where I belong and what I have been running from and where my heart is:

I belong to Turkey. I have been running from my family and my heart is in me and in me only. So if my home is where my heart is and if my heart is in me then I am my home. Voila! Simple math.

I have been in Turkey for the past 2 weeks. For the first time in 8 years, I have experienced the summer in Turkey. It had been 8 years since my toes touched the gorgeous sharp waters of the Aegean Sea.

I have mostly been soul searching while I was there. And when I wasn't, I was seeing all the good friends and places. It was good to be back in summer. It was good to be; soul searching, friend gathering, dining, resting, knitting, reading, more soul searching. It reminded me how good it is to be.

24 April, 2009

HAPPINESS is not having future

So, happiness is about staying in the moment, fearlessly. 
Don't over think the moments that have not come yet. They may never come: 

The man who thought too much about future, died and he realized the last thought he had was what to wear tomorrow, a tomorrow he will never have. 
The man who stayed in the now, died, and his only thought of the moment was that the life was so pleasant as he got door'd while he was riding his bike. 

"What to wear tomorrow" or "life is pleasant"?

How about life is pleasant when there is no tomorrow. "Tomorrow" may never come. "Later" may never come. "Instant" is the only fragment of time in interest. Take your steps as you go. Sometimes you may need to stop. It is easier to stop when you don't have a step ahead in your head. It is easier to hold still when no future is force written. It is easier to let go of kontrol and give in to the unknown. Don't worry, you are safe. Everything is, you. Everything is for you. You just enjoy the ride.

23 April, 2009


Give me your liver.

_Aaaa, ustume iyilik saglik. Napicaksin kizim cigerimi alip?

_Ben bulurum yapacak bisi anne, sen ver cigerini.

_Kizim iyi misin? Bi garip konusuyosun sen. Atesin falan cikmis olmasin. Gel bakiim bi.

_Ya dalak da olur anne. Illa ciger lazim degil. Hani hangisi uygunsa sana. Ciger istedim, cunku ciger kendiliginde geri buyuyor sonra. Hani bisi kaybetmis olmuyorsun.