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13 June, 2008

Munch with alternate version

the silence is beckoning, once again, the cold face of fear takes over my soul. I shiver. I tremor. I cringe. I ask: Will I be able to pull it off this time? Will I be able to do it this time? As much as I feel fearless now, I know it will creep up on me once the moment is there. As much as I feel I am capable, once the moment is there, I know, I may, I would, I could chicken out. 

The cold breath of fear, my friend, freezes your air. You find yourself choking on to your dream, on to your fantasy, your reality. How do you beat the fear? How do you win? How can you prevent it from the ruin?

I have this very precious thing in my fragile hands, shaking. I don't want to give it up, I don't want to let it go, but I know I cannot taste it while my hands are clenched on top of it, but I know once fear smells the sweet smell of what I am holding, it will claim it. But until then, I will keep my hand closed tight on top. I will make sure, fear will not have its name written all over it. 

Until then, 

I will hide it. 

Until tomorrow.

Billy the Kid

Then I open my hands, just to take a peek at the beautiful thing I was holding, and I am rendered breathless. It is gone!!!! How could it be gone? I had my hands over it, all this time. Where could it have gone? I had my hands over it all this time.

What did I have in my hands, all this time? Did I even have anything within my palms? Did I mistake the warm breeze with that beautiful thing? But I was sure, I had seen it, I had felt it. It was there. It must be still there. I still can feel its warmth and weight, I just cannot see it. I want it back, you hear me devil, who snatched it off of my hands and hopefully will return it back without selling it...
I want my precious possession back. I want to see it back. Because the fear is gone. Because fear cannot touch it this time. Because this time, the warmth it radiates will melt my heart, and finally set me free.
I want it back, hear me you devil!!!!! 

You got me into this mess, you get me out!

Billy the Kid

08 June, 2008

How ready we are to hate?

end is where we cannot see the road bend, no curves ahead, no more straight lines. End is near my friend, my only friend, the end.
Are we ready to let go? Are we ready to show the other how to leave? Everybody leaves if you show them how, you sneaky bastard!! They won't even know that they have been shown, they'll just leave. Everybody leaves, my friend, my beautiful friend, in the end, if you show them how...
Love is not an emotion, it is an ability, just as leaving. If one is not able, we'll enable him. Everybody leaves if you show them how and we will show you how. We will show the bread crumbs to the ones that failed to follow the map, the guidelines, the orders and such. We will let you leave and you will never know..... for sure.... if you have left on your own or we had let you go.... but when the time is up, the time is up... there is no more space for both of us in this little bodice of mine you have been living in. I am leaving and you can stay if you'd like. But remember, nothing will be the same once i am gone. Everything will be different and different tends to be better...

for better tomorrows...

Billy the kid