Daily dose

The Book of Grasp

I have travelled half the earth for almost a decade to understand where I belong and what I have been running from and where my heart is:

I belong to Turkey. I have been running from my family and my heart is in me and in me only. So if my home is where my heart is and if my heart is in me then I am my home. Voila! Simple math.

I have been in Turkey for the past 2 weeks. For the first time in 8 years, I have experienced the summer in Turkey. It had been 8 years since my toes touched the gorgeous sharp waters of the Aegean Sea.

I have mostly been soul searching while I was there. And when I wasn't, I was seeing all the good friends and places. It was good to be back in summer. It was good to be; soul searching, friend gathering, dining, resting, knitting, reading, more soul searching. It reminded me how good it is to be.

HAPPINESS is not having future

So, happiness is about staying in the moment, fearlessly. 

Don't over think the moments that have not come yet. They may never come: 

The man who thought too much about future, died and he realized the last thought he had was what to wear tomorrow, a tomorrow he will never have. 

The man who stayed in the now, died, and his only thought of the moment was that the life was so pleasant as he got door'd while he was riding his bike. 

"What to wear tomorrow" or "life is pleasant"?

How about life is pleasant when there is no tomorrow. "Tomorrow" may never come. "Later" may never come. "Instant" is the only fragment of time in interest. Take your steps as you go. Sometimes you may need to stop. It is easier to stop when you don't have a step ahead in your head. It is easier to hold still when no future is force written. It is easier to let go of kontrol and give in to the unknown. Don't worry, you are safe. Everything is, you. Everything is for you. You just enjoy the ride.

GIVE ME YOUR LIVER or SPLEEN

Give me your liver.

_Aaaa, ustume iyilik saglik. Napicaksin kizim cigerimi alip?

_Ben bulurum yapacak bisi anne, sen ver cigerini.

_Kizim iyi misin? Bi garip konusuyosun sen. Atesin falan cikmis olmasin. Gel bakiim bi.

_Ya dalak da olur anne. Illa ciger lazim degil. Hani hangisi uygunsa sana. Ciger istedim, cunku ciger kendiliginde geri buyuyor sonra. Hani bisi kaybetmis olmuyorsun.

_!!??

UNWANTING is free

Meet Me

Last night. Watching Boston Legal on Martin's computer, on my bed. Very cozy. Very snuggly. It is the episode on Thanksgiving. One scene where Jerry opens his heart to Katie and tells her he loves her, that he thinks she is the prettiest and kindest and smartest... as the list keeps on going, Martin says:

"Apparently he hasn't met you."



I wish, for everyone, that one day, you will meet someone who can deliver a compliment in such scale with so little effort and sway you away.

In Martin we trust.

Billy the kid

Why do I prefer Fairy over Santa

I always liked tooth fairy better than santa. I thought santa was ugly and fat. I felt tooth fairy had poise. She was also brave enough to come all the way to your bed instead of living room where nobody stayed, like santa. I loved the idea of a magical creature getting so close to me, even maybe touching me. Nowadays I favor the bean fairy. You know the one that bloats up the beans while you are sleeping like fava beans, chickpeas, red beans... so you can cook in the morning.